Headaches and the smell of shame

I think I might have ESP. Wanna know why? Of course you do. I think I have ESP because last Friday I predicted a shit show and it happened.

This, my dear readers, was my weekend.

Friday afternoon I felt kind of sickly. This was not going to happen. Twelve thousand milligrams of Vitamin C later, I was good to go.

Friday evening consisted of dinner with some sisters, a little shopping for the outfit I would wear to Bachelorette Party on Saturday night (I failed miserably at packing the night before. Norts, flops, a pair of tights and whatever else was in my car made it in my luggage) and a gift for the bachelorette, then a simple evening of movies, gossip, and mentally and physically preparing for the night ahead.

I was hell bent on sleeping in Saturday morning but at 8:15am my eyes opened and I’m out of bed. Luckily, my friend and sister, Dannie, was already awake and we decided to grab breakfast at a downtown diner and do a little shopping.

I love breakfast and I especially love breakfast when I don’t have to make it or are in a rush. The coffee was hot and the omelet was just what I needed to prepare for my night of tomfoolery.  Dannie and I both looked like we had partied hard the night before but had actually been in bed long before last call. Norts, flops, sweatshirts and a Polo hat was the attire of the day until I was made to get into the shower.

After breakfast and some window shopping, Dannie starts to get ready for her early departure for Fayetteville. I, on the other hand, jump in my car and realize “Hell. I need gas.” I head to Love’s and maneuver my way through the puzzle of cars to wedge my car by and open pump. When I rule the world there will be a universal color of black and navy and all gas tanks on vehicles will be on the same side. Problems solved. World peace.

Then I make my way to Meig’s, a local jewelry store that began my obsession with ToyWatch. I need to get a link fixed in one of my watches and send off another. I never have a bad experience at Meig’s. Shiny things make me happy.



Bree

I head back to nap until it is time to get ready. I usually stay with my friend and sister, Bree, when I am in Tahlequah. Her couch is always on loan to one of us. I get back and Bree is headed to lunch. I curl up on the round chair and start reading “50 Shades of Grey.” Holy Mutha of Literary Porn. I distract myself from the book when Bree comes back and we start watching Star Trek and I avoid taking a shower.

We finally leave for Fayetteville 15 minutes late and my hair in hot rollers. The drive to Fayetteville is full of gossip and catching up.



Limo and popping bottles

We begin the night at Shogun’s for dinner and drinks. I am reminded there is far too much hairspray in my hair to be that close to an open flame so I choose a seat on the side. Dinner was fun and entertaining; however, my cocktails were full of rum. I don’t do rum. It hurts my life. I already know this isn’t going to be pretty. After dinner, another sister, April, and I head to the liquor store for booze to pregame.



Brooke! It is blurry because the rest of the night was...

Back at the hotel, the party is getting underway. Everyone has a drink in hand and Brooke (the bachelorette) is showered with gifts. At 10:40pm, we make our way down stairs to a stretch limo to make our way to Dixon St.

From there, the night is blurry. These are the key words of events I can remember:

shots, tallboys, Dannie crying, too much fucking SEC, condom store, University of Arkansas mascot, hiding from cops, sirens, karaoke, non-Frat, Dannie running away, wedding party, guy in awesome suit, a couch named Courtney with a James Harden beard, Jell-O shots, Army men, underwear, alley, losing the limo, screenshot text, “guys you have 10 more minutes,” and waking up in the middle of the night and scaring myself because I am still wearing my glow bracelet.



Men's underwear x2

The next morning was hell; headaches and the smell of shame. Breakfast at the hotel involved trying to find phones and dignity (I didn’t bring mine to lose).



They got me home:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We finally leave the hotel and I pop two Tylenol and down a Diet Coke and settle in for the long ride back to Tahlequah where we begin to recover. Lunch is eaten and naps are taken before we are all strong enough to make our way back to our respective homes.

Top Night, Ladies. Top. Fucking. Night.

 

 Monday, August 27             ----------------------------------->

<----I bought this necklace this past weekend. Who doesn't love a crustacian?